The Perimenopause Husband
I'm Phil.
Husband of 26 years. Together 31. Four kids. On the tools most of my life.
My wife is going through perimenopause right now. Like most husbands, I had no idea what was happening or what to do about it. I thought she was cranky. I thought it was me. I thought she'd get over it.
I got it wrong before I got it right. Everything on this site is honest about both.
I'm not a therapist or a women's health specialist. I'm what you'd call a perimenopauseologist. Like a meteorologist, but for perimenopause. I can't control the weather. I've just learned to read it.
Why "The Perimenopause Husband" and Not My Full Name
Simple. My wife is all in on me sharing our stories. She's the one who told me to. Her words: other women need to know that their husbands have no idea about this stuff.
For the first while I kept my face off camera. That's done now. I talk straight down the lens, cap on, and the cap colour tells you the weather in our house that day. Sometimes that's at the kitchen bench. Sometimes it's outside. It was always a pub-table conversation, not a performance.
What This Project Is
A book, a free guide, a weekly podcast, and a corner of the internet where blokes can figure this out without being lectured.
Everything comes from our house. The cheek kiss. The dinner question. The headaches that scared us both. Real moments, shared with my wife's consent, because some of them will be exactly your house too.
And everything points the same way: this season passes, and your marriage can come out of it stronger than it went in. Ours is.
What This Project Is Not
Medical advice, ever. That's not what this is. Anything happening in your house that genuinely worries you belongs with her doctor, or a specialist in this space, not a website. Everything here is built to sit quietly alongside whatever she and her care team decide, never instead of it.
For media
Writing about perimenopause and looking for the husband's side of it? I do interviews, audio or on camera. Get in touch for the media kit.
"She didn't change. Life did. You haven't lost her. She is in weather you can't see." The Perimenopause Husband
Start Where Every Bloke Starts
The Weather Report. Two pages. Five weather states: Storm Warning, Overcast, Fog, Clearing, Sunshine. Free.